From My Heart To Yours - Wish You A Merry Christmas
Wish You A Merry Christmas
It was in my heart to talk about grief and how the Christmas season and special occasions can be difficult for some of us. The seasons of our life tend to bring us joy and pain. During this Christmas season I look for opportunities to bring the hope of Christ that brings life into the dark areas of our lives.I noticed on Facebook last week a comment that caught my eye,`` I can’t wait for Christmas to come and go``. I remember when I could hardly wait for Christmas to be over. I hated December. Christmas wasn`t fun like it used to be when I was a child. It was mixed with parties, drinking, arguments and emotional pain. These were the days before I met Christ as my Lord and Saviour. My marriage was a mess, I was so alone, empty, and did not have the hope I have today.
Some of you relate to this time of year like my friend, letting go of dreams when life doesn’t work out like you planned. I have had many opportunities in my life to make sour lemons rather than lemonade. Perhaps this story will encourage you or someone you love.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NIV 3 ``Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God``.
I was doing some Christmas decorating and of course put on my Christmas tunes. Songs are one of the many ways God speaks to our hearts.
A song by the band ``Third Day`` was playing called ``Merry Christmas`` I will quote the significant words from the song in my following article:
“It’s Christmas time again but you are not home, your family is here and yet you’re somewhere else alone, so tonight I pray that God would come and hold you in his arms, I tell you from my heart , I wish you Merry Christmas”
In July this year it was the 20th anniversary of my 11 year old daughter Kimberley`s passing. She was in an accident with her friend, the parked car they were in rolled into the lake and sank. Our families were there trying to rescue them, my friend, and I jumped in the lake and tried to open the door, it all happened so fast, I think about 3 minutes when all is said and done. It was almost surreal like it isn’t happening to you, or you are watching a movie.
While hearing these words my eyes filled with tears, I was overwhelmed with emotion, I was looking into the white lights glimmering on the tree and I remembered the first Christmas after the accident. Family had gathered, gifts were under the tree, but there was a silent hush, someone was missing, you, Kimberly, were somewhere else. Most of all, after 20 years, I just missed her, her touch, her laughs, her singing, her cuddles… you think after that long I would be over it``…
“Half a world away you try your best to fight the tears and pray that the heavens angels come to carry you here.”
With these words I remembered that God did bring her here. I used to long for her to return, to just have one more look, to hear her voice again, to see her smile, to hold her in my arms, to tell her I loved her. My arms would physically ache for her.
One day about 4 years after her death, I was worshiping the Lord and had an open vision. I saw my daughter Kimberley`s face beaming, her hair had grown to her waist, she had developed physically into a beautiful young woman.
She said to me `look mom I can fly` and she zoomed around gracefully like lightening. I felt such brilliance, such peace, such joy, such beauty, such a presence of the Lord that it is indescribable. She kept smiling at me and was singing a song ``I know the master of the wind`` I knew in my heart that she did indeed know the master of the wind! The vision stopped but the presence remained, there was, for a moment in time, no separation between heaven and earth.
“Christmas is the time to celebrate the Holy child, that we celebrate his perfect gift of love, he came to us give his life, and prepare a place for us, so we could have a home with Him above”
God knew exactly what I needed at that specific time, and only He could answer me in a way that I would understand. I have the assurance that she is with Him above, she is home. She dedicated her life to him as a child , was baptised, and loved to worship and sing all day long. I am not home yet, but she will be anticipating my arrival.
Grief is a mystery that until you go through it, you have a surreal view of the process. Our society is a microwave society, we want everything done quickly. As years have passed, celebrating different occasions becomes easier, but you never ``get over it``. The pain never seems to completely go away, if it`s been 3 months, 12 months, 3 years , 35 years or 53 years.
I relate it to an amputation, you get used to it, it doesn’t hurt as much, the overwhelming grief is gone, but you still notice something is missing, and you learn how to walk again. I also am reminded that it was God`s first intention for man to live eternally with Him, it is sin that created death and separation from God. Death is completing the cycle of restoration process of our return to the Father.
Today, I cherish the memories we shared, I don’t dwell on the negative, and I look forward to when we will meet again. I give myself permission to cry and talk about it whenever circumstances in life remind me. She will always have a place in my heart. In a moment of time, I close my eyes, and the memories are there.
Barbara Baumgartner says “Grief is not a problem to be cured, it is a statement that you love someone”
“It’s Christmas time again and now you’re home, your family is here, so you will never be alone, so tonight before you go to sleep I`ll hold you in my arms, I tell you from my heart, I wish you Merry Christmas” .
We celebrate Christmas, this gift that God gave us so that we will never be alone again. He is always with us. Christ in us, the hope of glory!
Remember, if this is a difficult Christmas for you, you will get through this too, Christ is here with you all the way.
Deuteronomy 33:27 NIV ``The eternal God is your refuge and underneath are the everlasting arms``
The word ``underneath`` here means bottomless. Even when you think you have hit bottom, his love goes even deeper still, underneath you to bear you up.
From My Heart