Mar 18, 2011

We recently had Dr Douglas Weiss, from Colorado Springs, a sought-after internationally known speaker and author on marriage, recovery and men’s issues come to Kelowna Christian Center.

So many times we go to a conference and learn some key truths, but a month later we are back to doing the same old, same old.

He spoke on Friday to the men on the delicate topic of sexual purity, authority, sexual addiction, and helping us focus on our wives and the relationships God put here for us. 

His focus text was Revelation 2:18-26 in reference to the church in Thyatira:
20 But I have this against you, that you tolerate the woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess, and she teaches and leads My bond-servants astray so that they commit acts of immorality and eat things sacrificed to idols. 21I gave her time to repent, and she does not want to repent of her immorality… 26He who overcomes, and he who keeps My deeds until the end, TO HIM I WILL GIVE AUTHORITY OVER THE NATIONS; 27AND HE SHALL RULE THEM WITH A ROD OF IRON, AS THE VESSELS OF THE POTTER ARE BROKEN TO PIECES, as I also have received authority from My Father;

We are designed to rule nations. We are broken, sin keeps us from ruling. If we overcome sexual sin we will rule nations.  How can this be accomplished? Doug shared key truths that healing and salvation comes from Christ, and healing also comes from the body of Christ.

What is beneficial: Transparency, accountability, sharing feelings, small groups, further help, counseling etc. We can’t do this alone, we are designed to rule nations, we can overcome this with Christ and each other. Together we win!

On Saturday he encouraged many couples to ignite the flame of passion to one another as well as gave us concrete steps to help us achieve deeper levels of intimacy and why it is crucial in every great marriage.

Intimacy is the ability to connect heart to heart with another person. Not just speaking in Clichés or facts, but a deep knowing and connection with your mate.Dr. Doug suggested these follow-up exercises on the weekend, you will find you can become an intimacy expert when you implement these skills. (Worksheet Click Here)

1. Pray together
2. Feelings Exercise - get a feelings database
3. Affirmations - 2 affirmations daily- I love, value or respect … about you
4. Dating - weekly or bi weekly – keep that spark alive, your kids need it, exchange childcare if finances are tight
5. Fighting Fair - confront your differences, resolve conflict and grow deeper
6. Emotional Adulthood - discover and grow in your weak areas.

Doug gave us at both of those events many tools in our toolbox that we can implement into our day to day life, so we can heal, overcome and have the best relationships we could have ever thought possible.

What’s Next

Ongoing tools we offer KCC to help you on your journey. I have recapped some of the action points that we have implemented at Kelowna Christian Center we would like to make you aware of: upcoming accountability groups and marriage classes.

Accountability and Support Groups

We have prepared a variety of small groups to help you in your relationships, marriage and purity journey. The groups are confidential and intended to give a place of prayer, support and accountability to walk in integrity and stay pure. They will focus primarily on the area of sexual purity although they should not be limited to just sexual purity issues.

Because of confidentiality the details of the groups will not be made public.

The pastoral team, Pastors Ed, Linda, Brodie and Greg will be established at the church for you to contact to help you discover which group might be the most suitable for you, you can call them at the KCC office or you can gather people who you know and we can help you with resource suggestions.

We suggest your accountability is with peers, single with single, married with married.Here is a link to an outline we want to follow at KCC: (Small Group Outline)

Freedom Groups

Men:
Freedom Accountability - meet one on one informally and would be helpful for those struggling with sexual sin, or marriage intimacy. You would meet or call weekly to accomplish the following:
· Check in: Primary and Secondary Purity boundaries
· Marriage exercises
· Share successes, temptations and failures:
· Pray with each other

1. Freedom 1 Groups - are support work groups for someone who needs support and information for purity and relational issues. They will be separate small groups of single and married men of 2 - 5 people that will meet weekly to accomplish the following:                
· Check in: Primary and Secondary Purity boundaries
· Marriage exercises – (if married)
· Share successes, temptations and failures:
· Do a study about sexual purity together , eg Every Mans Battle
· Pray with each other

2. Freedom 2 Groups- Are for those who are struggling with sexual addiction. They will meet daily, semi-weekly or weekly to accomplish the following:
· Check in: Primary and Secondary Purity boundaries
· Integrity date- clean since…
· Share successes, temptations and failures:
· Do a focused study about sexual addiction, eg. 101 Exercises
· Do a 12 step SA program-eg: Steps to Freedom
· Pray with each other,
· sponsor, daily check in

Professional counseling and intensives are also recommended in addition to the group.

Spouse:

3. Freedom Partners Groups - Are support work groups for spouses desiring to heal from the affects of living with partner with a sexual defilement , sexual anorexia, or someone struggling with sex addiction.  So often there is nowhere to go, no one to talk to when there has been infidelity in a relationship. These confidential groups are where you can discover answers to questions and have support from others that have come through it, as you walk through your healing journey. They meet weekly or biweekly to accomplish the following:
· Check in: I am working on….
· Feedback time: Group interaction
· Group Discussion Topic or DVD:
· Sharing time- break into groups of 2 or 3
· Prayer time

Single Women:

Freedom Accountability - meet one on one informally and would be helpful for those struggling with sexual sin. You would meet or call weekly to accomplish the following: · Check in: Primary and Secondary Purity boundaries
· Share successes, temptations and failures:
· Pray with each other

Marriage Enrichment

Christian marriage should be so hot that the sizzle brings people into the kingdom. Once you have those skills you can impart those to anyone you love. Marriage doesn’t just happen, we need to constantly invest in our relationship to keep it alive and vibrant.

Families are very valuable and we are dedicated to invest in you so that you, your relationship and your family is strong. We offer these courses support you and your family in your Christian walk.

Upcoming Classes

Tuesday Night Powerhouse
7 PM at KCC

April 5 -26: “Intimacy” DVD series by Dr. Doug Weiss, did you miss the event or want to refresh the principles and strengthen your marriage, including the best sex of your life for men and women. Please feel free to come and bring your friends! (Intimacy books are $20- optional)

May 3-24 “Love and Respect” DVD series by Emerson Eggerich,  Learn practical skills to enrich your marriage and increase your intimacy. $10 workbook optional

Also there are Life groups that focus on marriage and relationships that go on year round that can also be of great help to having a wonderful marriage see the Lifegroup booklet at the Connections Center.

From my heart to yours
Pastor Linda